From the day the graduation date was announced, I have decided that I am doing this post. I haven’t even receive my invitation email which left me in ambiguous state “Am I really graduating or not?” and I did find my name on the graduating list but you know, there might be something I missed doing or not. Not only me, many of my friends was in the similar situation. I told them that ppl chill. We are graduating with great confidence but I was really scared deep inside that I wouldn’t 😂 And I was also this lost kid and also who had no idea of the email, I remember Sajiah messaged me asking did I get one and I was like “Do we 😅?” “Is it using the university email address, oh no I no longer have any idea of that”. We decided to wait a little and she texted back few days later saying that she received it and asking me to check mine. Ppl, I still didn’t 🙃 She assured me that it is sent in batches so I will get it in few days which actually did not make much sense coz my name is next to hers or maybe just in case they stopped with her name.
I remember walking for the robe collection with still little hesitation (very much) that they are going to tell me I am not graduating. My papers got approved and I received my physical invitation with my own hands. I teared a little , looked at my friend and said “I am graduating” (sorry guys very very emotional lately). Even if that is the case this post is one day late. I wasn’t expecting such a busy day. Had headache and went to bed so so early.
If I reverse to around six years ago, wait wait maybe start from 24 years. The times I met amazing people in my life and I still meet more every now and then but these bunch of people were extremely special coz they were family. They saw and stay by me for 24 years despite any thing that happens in life. In life, I was always this lost kid in life(even yesterday on stage, gosh I can’t wait for my pics on stages and I am going blame myself for bowing despite the PIC said no bowing), I had hands that led me to places to where I wouldn’t even dream of being today. Yes, a graduate. They always saw my potential even before I did every time. They were and still are the blessing from Allah that I am thankful everyday in my life. They love and motivate like no other. Through the years, they have expressed their love and care through their actions and words. They have been my role models and taught me values through examples in life. Where do I begin about these people…
My grandfathers was self-made men the ones who proved to me that hardwork will never go a waste and you will be able to build your own empire. My Periyatta, I am so so impressed with him: there isn’t any questions left unanswered with him. He use to explain difficult terms with so much ease. I wished I was knowledgeable as him but I still haven’t reach that. My uncles who have been great role models, they were so knowledgeable too, I remember I followed my uncle to his office and said I will be like him coz he had cool office and then I remember me and lecturing don’t go well. I looked at my aunties and sisters, really admired their caliber and sophistication in life. My grandmother was iron lady who so so generous and loving. She was the queen of the empire. My dad’s skill in picking up skill really quick. My mom’s reading habits, she use to read like a lot of books. My families cooking skills (to be become the true Mohideenian). My cousins who were so so good with education while I was even struggling with just UPSR. They were inspirations in life.
I remember my sister told me that I should start practicing my English as it is becoming an important language when I was little. Lovely reminders by my family members, asking me to take extra care of education. Not only that I remember during Ramadan congregational prayers together, Firdaus akka fixed the way I placed my hands during the prayers. And also not forgetting my sweet sister, Hani akka turned my tuition teacher in standard 3 as I was not doing good in school, well an average student. I have never seen her angry at all in my entire life, she was angry coz I didn’t memorize multiplication tables until 12. I feel so so bad that I made her sad and started memorizing until I was finally able to say it by heart and she was so so happy and proud of me. Teachers use to be so so impressed with me for knowing tables 12 by heart and also solved many complex questions. My mom, anisha akka, azizah akka who use to help me with my coursework in school. I seriously I could go on and on about these lovely people my appas, ammumas, periyatta, periyammas, mama, mami, akkas, anna and machans as well as my lovely ppl. Seriously coz they just gave me so so much values in life.
6 years ago, I was completely scattered in life that I didn’t get the marks I wanted. I remember for two days I was sitting down there crying that I failed in life coz I couldn’t become an engineer. They took me up, seriously so so high that I wouldn’t have imagine. The care and love they showed me. All those words. I thought I was only capable of being a baker only(it is not like it is easy, gosh it is so hard too) and not the studying kind of person. I had so many people who were very worried of me. Due to my negligence, I almost lost this golden opportunity in life. I saw so many people who really worked really hard to land me this. They actually sat down and told me which course I should apply. I had my cousins and uncles looking through my UPU application. They helped me appeal coz I didn’t get through. And I got the application, I didn’t want to go IIUM coz I didn’t get engineering. I remember that phone call that was a turning point in my life: Firdaus akka, she called me twice. First call, I told her I am not going, she was like what course, I said it is “Information Communication and Technology”. She took time to tell me that it is actually a good course and why I should go. I sat down thinking about and start searching about it. The second phone call (she was really sick but she actually made time for me and ensure that I am in good place, really appreciate it akka), this is what she told me “Sarbu aunt’s children all went there, there are doing good. Fauziah, Fazrul and I went there as well, we are doing good. Don’t worry ma, you will do fine too. There a lot of people who thinks you can’t I know you can, show it to them”. Those were my comforting word and words that ignite me to do better. Akka, thank you for believing in me ♥. I remember and finds myself almost giving up that it was so so hard but these were the people I didn’t want to disappoint in life and make their effort go to waste. I heard from my mom that my aunty called to tell mom tips on how I can cope with the uni life. Few weeks or perhaps months, I am going to complaint about staying away from home. Amma has to stay strong say it is okay (Atta knows I hate staying away from family, he is there waiting before my class finishes and send me only when it is almost class time, no not staying there for holidays, I know atta it wasn’t easy). She also told amma how I should leave to class half hour early so that I get to sit in the front row. I did that until final semester. Final semester, I had little sleep due to Final Year Project, so reach class on time but no worries my place is reserved. My classmates, don’t usually take me place. And many more… This is just degree but I am want to tell you people that I am graduated with a degree. You people, yes everyone of you were my stepping stones and never fail to led me to a better place. I love you all so so much. I really hope I made you all proud. Alhamdulillah, wouldn’t be able to do this without all of your support and love. Thank you very very much everyone. I still remember the first text I received from all of you. Never thought will come this far. Allah has been very kind to me, always bless me and provided me with the best family. I loved all your lovely message.
Wouldn’t trade you people for anything ♥